Friday, June 09, 2006

I've lost something...

I’ve lost something or rather somebody stripped something away from me and in it's place I have gained something else... It is rather harrowing to see the complete decay of ethics and morals in people all around me. It is worse when one falls for someone devoid of such rare virtues, and I mean fall...

Good luck to you.

We've all been there.

Finally, they skilfully slither away, as if they were always poised for the opportunity to do so when a suitable occasion rose. Simply to build on their already too too healthy ego. Nobody likes to get caught out for their dalliances. So telling the perfunctory swag of lies and spin to as many as they can to save whatever face they can muster from a predicament they themselves created becomes the rule of the day.

I'm wondering if it's the back end of the "fabulous darlink" set. Oh, there's nothing like optimism and abundance, to bring about good cheer and high self esteem...
As I sit here wondering “what happened?” and of course luckily, working it out, only to face the daunting prospect of seeing myself once again in all his glorious and not so glorious ways.
When we come to the crunching times of life, however big or small, everything gets thrown up in the air and the pieces plus a few extra, if we’re lucky, come one hopes, gently, to form a new shape and even newer understandings.
There is usually some amount of pain involved, perhaps some regrets, but that’s just the price of one more lesson learnt...
Yes, I am missing someone.
I know, how sensitive of me...
Someone who was probably inappropriate to be involved with in the first place. Someone who I was saddened to find on a pretty good hunch, keeps her personal space her personal space and tells a good tail and weaves a beautiful and admirable accomplished spin.

I let her know this you see, and so she was deeply offended early on in the peace. Of course, all my assumptions were eventually proven to be correct, oh, how fabulous darlink, but still I found her adorable.

I hate that, "I told you so!" stuff…
She was an excitable bubble of almost continual happiness but
also a lousy abusive drunk at least five nights of the week.
What does one do?
They say, you have to take the good with the bad, or do you.
No you don’t, but then one misses out on the good.
There in points to my Danish Prince sized problem.
“To be or not to be, that is the (eternal) question.”
Sometimes there is little to be definately decided amongst the confusion and contradictions of weighing up the virtues and vices of certain options on hand. We sometimes just have to go with the flow...

She loves me, she loves me not. After all these days, for better of for worse, there are many love options in all those bars and parties and this is the game of love how it seems to be most often played in Sydney today. And of course, there are always friends and work to be done etc etc etc…

To care or not to care.

The possibilities are plentiful. Jack Marx, the SMH columnist, who rather brilliantly blew the whistle earlier in the week on his secret dealings with Russell Crowe, has some undeniably interesting things to say on the subject that leave me somewhat squirming and questioning my values.
I keep coming up against people who see things as he does and it leaves me wondering if you can’t beat them then why not join them. We still get to have truth and respect amongst our best of friends and all the others can simply negotiate their ways into our hearts or not.
As the late Kurt Cobain wrote in his departure letter, “There is good in everybody,” and that’s just fabulous darlink!!